For the past few weeks, I’ve been praying about whether or not to share this blog post, and asking the Lord what He specifically wanted to me share with you. My sweet friend Victoria shared some heart-wrench truths with me recently, and I couldn’t help but share. Although I certainly can’t take credit for all of these words, I am so incredibly thankful for sweet friends who will speak truth into your life when you need it most! And that friends, is exactly what I would love to do for you today. Whether you are a fellow single wedding photographer (HOLLA) or a bridesmaid but never a bride, I hope that you find this perspective encouraging.

While I absolutely love being able to celebrate the first day of marriage for so many amazing couples, I would be lying if I didn’t say that it came with some emotional challenges. We all grow up dreaming of the day that we say “I do” to our best friend, and when we witness that joyous occasion over and over again, not knowing when it will be our turn, it can take a toll emotionally and spiritually. To be completely honest, too many tears have been shed – happy tears for the couples, but also a few anxious tears wondering if it will ever be my turn. I truly believe that the truth shines through in life’s most vulnerable moments. So here I am, exposing some of the deepest parts of my heart with you today hoping that someone, somewhere hears my words and is encouraged by them. If that’s you, please know that you are not alone! Know that your feelings are 100% valid. That strange feeling of being happy and frustrated all at the same time is real, friend, and it is something we feel all too often (helloooo comparison). I wanted to share a few truths with those of you who may be struggling with this, and I know you are out there!

1. Don’t let it become an idol. While longing for a strong marriage some day is completely normal, there comes a point where it becomes an idol. That’s when it is no longer healthy, and that’s where you need to set boundaries for yourself. If you find yourself being consumed with finding a spouse and most of your thoughts revolve around if/when you meet someone, you put extra effort into impressing everyone around you, you can no longer be happy for others in this life stage, or have jealous thoughts about other happy couples, then it is time to take a look a deeper look at what may actually be going on. It is so important to let go and let God provide. We should not be overly consumed by getting married or finding “the one,” because Christ is the only partner that can truly fulfill and satisfy.
2. Trust in the Lord’s timing. He always seems to have a funny way of working these things out. After meeting so many couples and hearing their love stories, I certainly know that to be true! It is so incredibly important to trust in the Lord’s timing, remembering that His timing may not be our timing, and that is okay. While that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take any initiative, it also doesn’t mean that you should just sit back and wait for the perfect guy to knock on your door! Focus on being the best version of yourself right here, right now, and love the place where the Lord has you. There’s a reason for this season of singleness, and it would be a bummer if you rushed it away before you had the opportunity to learn from it!
3. Don’t dwell on what could be. This, friends, is SO true. All too often we dwell on what could be, temporary things that ultimately do not matter in the grand scheme of eternity. I believe that marriage is a beautiful opportunity to represent Christ’s love and share it with the world, however it isn’t our ticket into Heaven. A spouse is never going to fully satisfy someone; that’s a void that only Jesus can fill. After all, would you rather find your identity in “so and so’s girlfriend/fiance/wife” OR a child of the one true King? You are worthy of so much, friend, so revel in the abundant grace that the Lord has given you, and know that when the time comes, you will be equipped with a prepared heart. Matthew 6:33 says “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and these things will be given to you as well.” Instead of focusing on what could be in the future, spend your time intentionally dwelling on how the Lord is beautifully writing your story, integrating your life into the Kingdom of God.

Wow, friends. There were some major truth bombs that I’m not only speaking for you, but also for me, too. Am I the only one that had even a few of these thoughts race through their brains? If the Lord spoke to you through these words, I hope that you don’t take that lightly. You are oh so loved, friend, by a God who longs to know you and see you filled with joy.